to my dads.

there are four dads in my life.

i was raised by one here on earth. i have a father in heaven. my husband's dad became mine, the day tim and i were married. and, on the thirty first of may this year, timmy became a dad - the father of my own child and any that may be ours in time to come.

all of these men have impacted my life for incredible amounts of good.

tonight i write about two of them. 

i was raised in a house full of love. my mum is kind and gentle, creative and beautiful. my dad is strong and generous, soft and passionate. 

my dad especially loves cuddles. i have known of my power over this tough man my whole life and that power lies within a single hug. 

he is a big sucker for affection. my dad is a genius. he can do any maths equation in his head within seconds. he loves sport. he lives the gospel and gives himself wholly to the God he loves. he cherishes my mum and is completely in love with her. he loves bush poetry - i could listen to him read 'the man from iron bark' all day. he laughs loud and often. he uses hankies instead of tissues. his favourite meal is my mum's steak and kidney pie. he doesn't like my hair when i colour it. he loves babies. he is a wonderful poppy to his eleven grandchildren - he makes every one of them smile and laugh. he loves roo (or "joey" as dad calls him, 'cos "he's only a little roo") and wants to hold him every chance he gets. he is my dad and my heart swells with the love i have for him. 

timmy is now raising roo in a house full of love. tim makes everyone happy. he is understanding and slow to judge. he is giving and considerate. he is passionate. he loves hard and full of emotion. he is the most talented person i know. he is wise and kind. he is an artist, a musician. he loves to make people laugh. he loves to be silly. he feels deeply. he has a big sweet tooth. he explodes with love when he looks at roo. he loves our Saviour. he gives of himself freely and openly. he is the most honest person i have ever met. he is brave. he loves pineapple lumps. he loves hip hop. he is a loyal friend. he is the best birth partner in the world! and, i can't even believe that he is mine and i am his - that we have roo. he loves me so much and i love him more and more, a lump forms in my throat as i try to explain that love.

he is the best dad. roo looks at him with so much love. he knows the safety of his dads arms. roo is full of happiness when he is with him.

thank you, dads. i love you.

by the way... how amazing are the paralympics!!??

back to the beach

since roo was born, we haven't been walking on the beach very much.

today, timmy and i both needed to get out of the house to save our sanity. so, we walked the footpath we know so well and followed it back to the beach.

with a baby on my chest and timmy's hand in mine, we had that beautiful beach to ourselves.

we used to take this walk everyday. starting tomorrow, we're doing it all again.

music by shogu tokumaru, rum hee. get it on iTunes here.

a farewell to pa and a trip to the aquarium

my timmy is so wonderful.

wednesday was my birthday. i turned 25. this birthday was set to be different from ones past.

last thursday the 19^th of july, my beautiful pa (dad’s dad) passed from this life into the next. my nan and one of his daughters were by his side. he had lived a long full life. married for 62 years and in love to the last minute. my pa had severe dementia for the last 8 years of his life. in the last few years, the only person he recognized without doubt was my nan. it would appear that he was completely lost – vacant and then he would see nan and kiss her and call for her. my nan and pa have 62 family members as a result of their 62 years of marriage. love survives all.

his funeral was held on my birthday the 25^th of july. the church was full of those who knew and loved him. my dad gave a beautiful eulogy, smiling through tear filled eyes as he spoke of his strong, loving father who, like many of his time, worked two jobs to provide for his family but was still found at every single sporting event of his seven children, cheering them on.

the service was special and the day was beautiful.

i miss my pa. 

timmy knew that my birthday would have a different feeling to a normal birthday and so he made sure that the day was still special for me. roo started off the special day by only waking once in the night and waking up at 8am! while I was still sleeping timmy went to our favourite bakery and came home surprising me with a breakfast of chocolate macarons, chocolate and raspberry tart, chocolate truffles, a massive lamington and the biggest chocolate meringue you have ever seen (beef bourguignon pies were being kept warn in the oven as well). after feeding roo while munching on delicious chocolate treats in bed, I came out to find a smorgasbord of magazines and a beautiful birthday message on our chalkboard wall.

my family brought presents and beautiful cards from the littles. i was spoilt.

yesterday we went into the city. first stop was the mca (museum of contemporary art) my favourite gallery. we saw some aboriginal woven hutches for babies, to protect them from the elements, amazing drawings, prints and installations. roo loved the bright coloured works on the wall – I have a feeling this boy will grow loving that place. next stop was some incredible sushi in darling harbour. we ate ourselves through $65 worth of $3.50 plates (do the maths and that’s a lot of sushi for two). then to the guylian café for a chocolate praline mousse gold thing that was delicious but completely over-priced. then ummed and ahhed our way to the aquarium, which also seemed over-priced but ended up being completely worth it. amazing to stare at all those incredibly diverse beautiful creatures and marvel at their creation. next stop a bit of maccas and a feed for the roo.  then on home we went (via a shop to pick up his and hers vans).  

i must admit doing all those things with a baby wasn’t the easiest thing ive ever done but it sure wasn’t too hard either. roo smiled his way through the day only really losing it when the over-tiredness hit at the start of the aquarium and then again at maccas but, both times he was quickly soothed once he was in our arms and all was well again.

timmy made both my real birthday and the day after, ones i will cherish for the rest of forever. i just want to be with him. when i am, i’m the happiest. it’s as simple as that.

timmy and roo – the best boys in the whole world. my heart is full.

thank you timmy for making me so happy, everyday. every single day.

he is the flippin' cutest baby ever! he's killin' me!

39 weeks in the blue dress

right now i have a biiiiiig belly. a couple of days ago we re-created our first ever maternity shoot (12 weeks). i can't stop looking at these photos side by side. not because i like myself or something but because i can't believe that i ever had a stomach that flat - i can't believe how big my belly is now, how much my body has changed to accommodate our little one.

now we wait. baby coulson's due date is tomorrow. the countdown is over, we have one full formed bub that is putting on a little more chunk everyday, snug and squished in its little space.

we're ready for you little one. come and let us see your beautiful face.

our instagram life part 3

the puppy finds a new mummy and perfect family.

pie. our favourite.

ikea haul. that's a cot in there.

church babies.

date night.

summer days.

church boys cleaning the chapel.

hottie.

sisters-in-law. twins.

coulson family predictions.

that one time the hair straightener blew up in my hand.

a belly button beginning to flatten.

baby cohen.

our spot.

our other spot.

reading essentials for the glucose test.

you tube mornings.

a little belly.

graduation.

saying goodbye to the printing press.

babies first concert - bon iver.

babies first vans.

a haircut.

rough morning.

turned better by timmy's wardrobe assistance.

ew.

timmy's jeans buttoned all the way to the top.

afternoon naps.

my sisters five.

sisters.

the pram. ready to go.

up in the gym.

a painting of my pa in an exhibition. part of a phd on dementia.

our other, other spot.